THE CHALLENGES OF THE PURITY CULTURE, AND HOW BRIDES ARE EMBRACING INDIVIDUALITY

The Challenges of Purity Culture Faced by the Brides. How the trend is fading away.

In today's world, a bride's choice of wedding dress color often draws significant attention. If that expectation isn't met, it can lead to gossip from family, friends, and the church community. "Why is she not wearing white?" they wonder.

Traditionally, brides wear a long, flowing white gown, symbolizing purity. This connotes that she is a virgin, unblemished—just as Christ desires in his bride, the church.

But is this expectation always valid? Let's explore this topic further through Gina Ryder's article, "How Purity Culture Still Haunts the Bridal Aisle."

Most brides still choose white; however, shades of beige, cream, and ivory are becoming increasingly popular. In her article, Gina Ryder discusses the challenges brides often face from family members, friends, and church traditions when they opt for colors other than white.

Not a Tradition Until the 19th Century

The phrase "the bride wore white" became common in wedding announcements in the late 18th and 19th centuries. However, for much of history, white dresses were often too expensive and difficult to clean, and were mostly worn by the elite.

"Until the 19th century, people wore a variety of colors—red, green, blue—without regard to any symbolism, usually choosing styles that would allow them to wear the dress for other occasions," says Stephanie Coontz, a historian and author of several books on gender and family.

Queen Victoria's Statement

Wearing white became a fashion trend for brides in the Western world after Queen Victoria donned a white gown to marry Prince Albert in 1840. In contrast, brides in countries like China or India traditionally wear red to symbolize luck, while in Africa, they often wear a mix of colors to symbolize joy.

How the West Received It

In the West, whiteness eventually became a symbol of sexual purity. In some strict religious circles, if a bride wasn't a virgin, she often felt pressured to wear off-white.

"By the wedding day, the dress becomes an insurance policy against gossip or even eternal damnation," says Aly Thompson, a family therapist in Westlake Village, California, who specializes in religious trauma. "If I wear white, no one can say I’ve failed. But if I don’t, I risk exposure and the possibility of not belonging."

The Shift in Paradigm

While the white dress has long symbolized purity and tradition, today's fabric colors often reflect personal style and cultural significance. Shades of beige, cream, and ivory are becoming more popular. Still, the remnants of purity culture linger; some brides report feeling pressured by family and religious expectations to wear white, or in some cases, off-white.

Experiences from Brides Across Various Faiths

Here are some experiences from brides over the years across different faith traditions.

When Antaleah Merritt went wedding dress shopping, she took her mother, Kristi Merritt, but left her grandmother at home.

Antaleah believed that "the fewer people involved, the less pressure I would feel to pick something I didn’t want."

At Dream Gowns, a bridal shop in Panama City, Florida, she fell in love with an ivory, mermaid-style gown adorned with rhinestones. She wore it for her boho-themed beach wedding in June 2024.

Due to complicated reasons, her grandmother wasn't invited to the shopping trip. "She probably would have wanted me to wear the white dress because she is old-fashioned," said Antaleah, 30, a third-grade teacher based in Atlanta.

Her mother, Kristi Merritt, 50, a pediatric nurse and part-time wedding planner in Panama City, shared, "Being from the rural South, people can be narrow-minded and love to gossip about what the bride should or shouldn’t wear."

At her third wedding in 2021, Kristi wore a lace ivory gown with an off-white overlay and a voluminous skirt. She felt the look was "neither matronly nor racy," which she deemed appropriate for marrying a reverend in a traditional Christian community in Ghana, where her husband is from. The couple plans to host an American celebration next, where Kristi will wear gold. "Even though I’m older, I still got it," she said.